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Jar Jar released from hospital
What in the name of Abe Pollin's prostrate is going on here?!?!?! DIdn't Verizon Centre check with David Patton office before printing up copyright infringements for all the world to see?!?! trademarked that name in a late night, under the table deal with Gilbert at City Place Mall video arcade, sealed by a cutting session and bleeding all over Silver Spring Astroturf Park. Granted, Ken was already at park lacerating himself with no knowledge of Gentleman's Deal between Gil and primaries -- "I think the new name is Agent Zero. Oh that's hot. Whoever made that 'Agent Zero' up gets a percentage" -- but a bloody deal's a bloody deal, even if Ken's haemoglobin levels are so low that his blood is more a muddy chartreuse than crimson red!!!
Can somebody who went to the game explain this outrage? Our lawyer, Lionel Hutz, is standing by!!!!
Meanwhile, our sincere best wishes go out to the good Constable Hayes, whose annual RITE OF FALL was just that tonight.
It was a scary sight to see you lying there, and then taken out on stretcher -- and yes, we saw you wipe away tears. To answer your question, "If I started crying, would you start crying?" Yes, Jarvis, yes. In fact, Ken was crying well before the game even began because his cilice belt had slipped into his crotch (again).
Lying there, you must have felt like a piece of the past was caught in your throat -- and then you choked. But here, it's more than love, it's less than love -- it's what the give to you: moisture, good touches, bacon.
It's been a tough two years for the Wizard's finest officer of the law. He's been caught in time so far away from where our hearts and cracked knees really wanted to be, and he's reaching out to find a way to get back to where he'd been. But oh, if summer left him dry, with nothing left to try, this time.... Jarvis, we have learned sometimes a need can run too deep, and we throw away the things we most wanted to keep, and inside we lie over and over again... If you don't know, you'd better learn to believe us when we say we're going to build a wall around this town, around these hearts and hands -- and you shall heal.
Be well, Constable, be well.
Update: JJ released from hospital, bruised butt healing with help of Dana's magic balm: 1 leaf of aloe plant, 1 can of bacon puree, 1/2 cut of spit, 1/2 cup of "secret sauce."
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